“Don’t take it for granted” — we hear it all the time. It sounds wise, but often only hits us after the fact: when we’ve lost something, or someone. That phrase doesn’t always feel like a warning — sometimes, it’s just the closing line when it’s already too late.
But what does it really mean? How do we actually practice it? In most relationships, we go with the flow — unaware we might be taking someone for granted until it all becomes too much, and that line suddenly appears like an emotional plot twist.
Thich Nhat Hanh said, “When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?” And I think that’s it. Presence — that quiet, underrated gift — is how we start. Show up. Laugh together. Fight and make amends. Chase sunsets. Make plans. Cancel plans. Try. And also, have the courage to walk away when something no longer brings peace.
A friend once told me, “Anne, you rush with men. You confront them like a marathon. It’s yes or no — and if it’s no, you walk.” And I paused. Is that wrong? Maybe. Or maybe it’s just my way of being present and not waiting around to be taken for granted. If someone doesn’t make time for you, believe them. Your presence should never be an afterthought.
Lately, I’ve learned I prefer intimate time over big parties — not because I’m older (though, yeah, we all are) — but because I choose to be present. I choose to hold space, and to not let the beautiful, fleeting, messy moments of life go unnoticed.
That’s how we begin to not take anything or anyone for granted – I guess. You can try it yourself.
